The Structure of Your Problems

Even before starting my doctorate program I've been pursuing a line of research involving embodied cognition, learning theory, and narrative therapy. And there have been some fascinating links I've come across that I've been putting into practice.

Anybody who comes over to our place for dinner knows that they may very well end up a guinea pig for some new protocol I've been working on.

Tonight was no different.

My girlfriend had a couple of friends over, and after dinner she said, "Ok, you've gotta map out Z_________."

So we got started exploring the "structure" of a particular challenge she's dealing with,

You probably have a structure like this too.

Consider that as you're developing, your movement, perception, and cognition are inextricably linked. Of course they still are, but this link is particularly interesting as you're developing because you start to make all sorts of "maps." There's even been some recent research showing that your social matrix is literally mapped onto your spatial perceptions.

Pretty interesting, I think.

This leads to really tight connections between your perception of certain social situations, your body responses, and your sense of what you can or can't do based on those.

As I've mentioned in the past, a persistent theme in my "structures" over time is holes in the ground.

And when I describe my challenges, the metaphors all relate.

II dig myself a hole.

Get in over my head.

I prefer to go deep and get to the bottom of things.

I feel beneath other people, like I'm always looking up to them.

And it checks out with some of the deeper physical patterns in my body as well.

The gift that we have is that we can move these things and speak them. Both have value. In fact, both are necessary if we want the fullest that we're capable of. We can't simply talk and neglect the body, and we can't simply say "the issue is in the tissues" because that leads to more silly reductionist thinking.

Not all talking is created equal. Neither is all movement.

But as I mention in the Movement As Metaphor™ work, there's a lot we can do to get more from our movement - by being deliberate with our speech.

You might think for example of a particular challenge you're dealing with currently.

A) At first you could notice what bodily sensations come up for you as you think about it. That's a good way to start investigating the physical structure of it.

B) Then I encourage you to talk or write through it. Someone wrote to me the other week saying she had a hard time moving forward, she always felt blocked somehow, and so on. Clearly we can see that her psychological structure is that of a block or a wall. It's something the prohibits her movement forward. You can begin to sort this out by paying careful attention to the turns of phrase you use to describe your "stuff."

C) Now, it takes a bit of creativity and patience to move through this, but you want to start thinking of where (physically) you take on the role of that challenge. In the case of a block, where and how do you "block" yourself in the body? If it's a rope or cable binding you, where and how do you bind yourself? The awareness from A above will help here.

From there there are a number of ways you can begin to move through that, but they're way too varied based on the particular person. I'll let the curious among you explore for yourselves.

But bringing these connections together has been a real gift for me. I feel like an old, old layer of vigilance has started chipping away, and life has actually gotten quite a bit easier this year - even in the midst of everything. It's not perfect, but I'm in a good creative groove, I'm stronger than I've ever been, I'm learning more easily, and I feel way more at ease with other people. A lot of the old social anxiety has dissipated.

I'm not sure exactly what a process like that would do for you, but you likely have a sense of it.

The persistent, nagging issues won't go *poof* and vanish.

But you can create some wiggle room between them.

They can start to wash away.

And soon enough you may find yourself feeling like a very different person.

As an example, a client I've been working with recently sent me an email the other day saying how for the first time in her career she's been laying down boundaries and actually taking care of herself. She opted out of a "voluntary" meeting, saying,

"It ended up being a bitch session that I wasn’t part of and I’m SO GLAD I wasn’t part of that. I am thinking about me for the first time in my career!  I knew this would get my weekend off to a bad start, I trusted my gut and I’m SO GLAD!  I would not have done this without all of the development I have been doing."

She's also in way less pain than any other time in her adult life and is getting back into movement - with a vengeance after a couple decades' reduced capacity. It's really incredible what people are capable of.

Anyway if you'd like to get a sense of this for yourself, here's the best way to do it.