Being Well-Rounded Is Making You Weak


The obsession to be a well-rounded person is handicapping your ability to make an impact.

Some people might not like it, but the truth is: you an I are naturally inclined towards certain things.

Let me be clear: we aren’t “wired” a certain way.

This isn’t an argument for genetic determinism, but we do have definite proclivities.

You know, the things that make you you.  If you amplify those, it's going to be much more effective than trying to manage your weak links. 

Look at it this way:

Darwin’s finches wouldn’t have survived and reproduced if they all tried to be the most well-rounded bird on the island.

They filled their niche in the ecosystem based on those biological differences.

Strange example, I know.

But there are things you’re good at.  And getting better at them amplifies what you’re capable of.

Let me give an example from one of my clients.

*B* originally came to my program with the goal of trying to drop her drinking habit.  She had been trying to break the vicious cycle for 7 years.  As she puts it:

My original goal in registering for TTF was to change my evening habit of drinking wine, as you know, which I was totally stuck in...then as we started the class, I realized it might be able to help with me feeling stagnant in my acupuncture practice, too. And then a third goal I had was about being better at interpersonal communication and relationships.

Her problem was that she focused more on shoring up her weak links than on amplifying her strengths.

When she shifted her perspective, everything changed for her in a matter of weeks:

For the drinking, it really was all about my self image and my habits. 

I found the module on Emerging and Inherent Strengths to be super helpful for changing my drinking habit. 

Like you said in your webinar this week, it doesn’t work to focus on the outcome, you have to focus on the process. The process for me was this deep identification with the party girl, and also just the habit of using it to self-medicate.

So for the Strengths module, I worked with a couple of good role models for self-image as an athlete, self-image as someone who values their physical health, and I focused on those people and their qualities.

It was really powerful, like a tuning fork in me —  I just started feeling and thinking differently.

Rather than imposing my goal on myself and trying to force myself to conform to it, I embraced different values and that affected the choices I was making.

And it’s amazing, but it’s really worked.

It’s a weird shift for most of us to make.

When you learn how to identify and amplify your inherent strengths, it's kinda like tapping into your latent superpower.  Instead of trying to be something that you're not, you turn up the dial on who you are. 

It lets you show up as a better version of yourself:

I’m not just embracing the way another person is, but I actually have seen myself be that way and so I have the proof that I also have those inherent strengths.

I’m not “faking it ‘til I make it,” but I’ve actually been doing it. It’s pretty cool!

And when you embody your best traits, it ripples out into everything you do.  You become a better partner, a better teacher or practitioner, a better friend.  As *B* writes:

I’ve also had insight into how to be better at interpersonal communicating with the strategies from the Emerging and Inherent strengths module, and I’m really amazed at the change I’ve had in that area.

Same thing with my practice — I used the Emerging and Inherent strengths module there, and sort of let that marinate a bit, and I’ve gotten super clear about what aspects of my practice aren’t working for me, what aspects I want to cultivate, and a better idea of how to integrate my different goals.

So long story short: I’m by far a better practitioner and a healthier and happier person since doing TTF.

I tend to get depressed in the gloomy PNW winters, and I didn’t get winter depression at all this year. I can’t explain that exactly, but I know the changes I made with TTF played a role in that.

Thank you so much for all you do!!! 

What her story shows us is a simple lesson...

Chase what you’re good at.

Don’t play the games that make you weak.

The world will be a better place because of your commitment.

If you want to put this into practice for yourself, you'll need to figure out what those strengths of yours to amplify them...and how to keep a consistent practice until they're rooted in your nervous system. 

Then it's simply a matter of sitting back and watching the magic happen.

If you'd like to know how you can make this process work for you, click here to book a free session.

On this call we'll take a clear look at what's working and what's not, lay out the exact strategy you need, and give you the tools you need to take control and show up at your best.

Click here to book a call now.

Chandler StevensComment