How Insecurity Shows Up in the Body

I imagine you’re reviewing the progress you’ve made this year and find yourself setting more ambitious goals for next - ones that are even more in alignment with the person you’d like to be.

And I wonder if — as you think through what you’d love to achieve in the next year — self doubt or limiting beliefs creep in?

It can happen in a fraction of a second.

And when it does, I’d bet you anything that…

…you’ve stopped breathing fully.

…you’ve collapsed in your posture.

…you’ve braced yourself with tension.

The body makes obvious the conflict between desire and anxiety.

It just makes everything so concrete.

One moment you can experience yourself as free and open as you contemplate what you’d love to create in your life, and the next you’re restricted and shut down, spinning off into worries and negative self-talk.

This happens, by the way, to just about everybody.

One of the key differences between those who go on to realize their desires compared with those whose progress stagnates is their ability to turn off the engine of anxiety when it kicks on and reinvest themselves in pursuit of what they’ve set their mind to.

It’s not that they never doubt themselves.

They simply know how to divest themselves from that doubt. As a result they’re more consistent across time, and time therefore works in their favor.

It’s hard to describe the freedom that’s available when you learn to interrupt the habits of insecurity. You’re then able to create a life in accordance with your desires - rather than simply attempting to avoid what you don’t want. You’re able to invest your time, energy, and attention in useful work toward your goals rather than in bracing, resistance, and self-sabotage.

For example, I always ran my business the way I thought I had to.

I loved the work that I was doing, but the business wasn’t set up how I wanted. It didn’t feel congruent, but I was afraid that there wasn’t another way - not one that would meet my business goals.

In the end it exhausted me, nearly bankrupted me, and cost me years of my life.

Every time I’d think about making a change, doing something more in accordance with what I desired, the worry would immediately creep in…

“What if nobody signs up for this thing?”

“What if it’s no good for my clients?”

“What if I don’t know enough to pull it off?”

So I ended up going back and forth in indecision, wasting hours — then days and weeks and months — reinventing the wheel, and creating a major hole where my self-esteem should have been. All the while my business, relationships, and mental health suffered.

In comparison…

This morning I was sketching out some ideas for what I’d love to create next year, including a revamp of my Movement As Metaphor program, where I show people how to connect the dots between their "body stuff" and their "life stuff."

As I wrote the vision, I noticed when the anxiety crept in and began to hijack my thinking.

It was almost like I could watch the worried thoughts form one by one, and I could freeze them in midair and examine them more carefully. I could then start to investigate what was happening in my body at that moment and the emotional experience underlying the anxiety.

It seemed so obvious...

I could remind myself that it is, in fact, safe for me to feel good.

To enjoy my work (even more) and be (even more) excited by it.

And man, the vision for next year feels good : )

In just those few moments I was able to interrupt what would otherwise have been a gnarly spiral, and with the activation that the anxiety had provided me, I could then get a lot done in order to bring that vision to life.

So as you’re thinking ahead to what you’d love to bring into being next year, keep watch for when anxiety creeps in to restrict the flow of your desire. Notice when the worry, self-doubt, or shut down begins, and simply pause.

Interrupt the interruption of your desire.

And reorient yourself toward what you want.

It’s more challenging than it appears on paper, of course. It does take work, but it’s far less effort than I imagine you’ve been used to.