Why Lying To Yourself Keeps You Stuck

Trust is at the root of connection.

It’s the bedrock of every relationship: social, professional, romantic.

And at its core trust is built on radical honesty.  The more honest you can be, the more trust you’ll build.

This isn’t always comfortable though.  

There’s a reason why truth is associated with swords in so many of the world’s religions: the Buddha has a fiery sword, and Christ comes back with a sword coming out of his mouth.  Radical honesty can cut you down.  It hacks away the lies, the bullshit, and pretense.  It leaves only what’s real.

It isn’t there for your comfort.  It’s there for something greater.  It’s there for something like what-you-and-the-world-could-be.  It’s there for the highest possible good.

If you want to sort yourself out and simplify your life, it begins with radical honesty.

But you can’t do this with other people until you do it with yourself.

Be honest.

What do you really want in life?  What do you need in order to be the most you can be?  Make a list.  Then re-examine it.  How much of that do you actually need?  And how much have you been led to think you need?

What’s really going on in your life right now?  What’s obvious about the way you live in and engage with the world?  If things aren’t going well for you, ask: how might I have contributed to this mess?  What am I doing to keep myself from having what I want?  What am I doing to keep myself from what I could be?  

Be honest.  

Can you find the courage to truly say what you see in the world?  To cast out the vision you have of the world?  Are you able to honestly say what you think?  And do as you say?

Honesty is the necessary substrate of trust, clarity, and integrity.  

It’s your best hope for a life worth living.

Chandler StevensComment